i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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