yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
