No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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