Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
