the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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