no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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