he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we should paint friendship bongs
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