Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
