I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
