i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
