OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
