she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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