i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
