I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
