At least make sure they are 18
Why
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
