Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's always time for handjobs
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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