Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
