Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
