apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
