I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My vagina is officially offended.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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