what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
