I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
