Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
