There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
