i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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