I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
