I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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