Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
