Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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