cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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