Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize