He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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