why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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