At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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