THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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