I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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