You smell like a Billy Joel song
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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