Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
