If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There's always time for handjobs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
