Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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