remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
