okay pat passed out under dana's car
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
