That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
