I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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