Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
