...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
