Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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