Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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