Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
