the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
